
Episode 403: The Wizard’s Baker
Cast:
Brendon Small/Dwayne/Junior Addleburg – Brendon Small
Jason Penopolis/Coach Jon McGuirk/Male TV Salesman – H. Jon Benjamin
Melissa Robbins/Female TV Salesman – Melissa Bardin Galsky
Paula Small – Janine Ditullo
Josie Small – Loren Bouchard
Eugene – Eugene Mirman
Arnold Lindenson – Andy Kindler

Synopsis: Despite enthuiasm from Melissa and Jason, Brendon has no
interest in his newest project, "The Wizard's Baker". Instead,
he wants to become a skunk scout. A lonely and drunk McGuirk buys
swords off TV.
History:
· The return of both Eugene from season one and Mr. Lindenson
from season two.

Lawn Gnomes:
· Bed Shot
Brendon’s Filmography:
· “The Wizard’s Baker” – A medieval wizard rules over a kingdom,
including a cow, a farmer and the wizard’s personal baker.
The Movie-Episode Connection:

Song Lyrics:
· Wizard Man
I’m a wizard wizard a wizard wizard a wizard man!
I’m a wizard wizard a wizard wizard a wizard man!
Electricity shoots from my finger-nails!
Electricity shoots from my finger-nails!
I’m a wizard wizard a wizard wizard a wizard man!
I’ll melt your brains!
A wizard wizard wizard man am I!
· Moo Moo
Moo moo moo moo moo moo moo
Moo Moo Moo!
Moo Moo Moo!
I am a cow!
Moo Moo Moo!
I have bells!
Moo Moo Moo!
I am a cow!
(Jason)
I milk the cows
That’s my only job
And I fear the wizard
He should be impeached
I hate my job but
That’s a different story
I have a weird relationship with a cow
· Wizard’s Baker
I am a baker
And today is my birthday
And I just turned one years old
And I’m very cold
Cause I just found out
I’m a baker man
And I live inside a baking can
With soft and pretty
Baker’s hands
And I’m also lonelyyyy-yyyy…yyy
· Wizard #2
Dwayne:
Now the wizard is hungry
Make some pies, make them for me
Brendon: Yes my master that sounds good please don’t kill
me
Melissa: I will give you milk!
Brendon: Thank…you!
Jason: I’ll do the milking!
Brendon: A-thank you!
Jason: You’re…welcome!
Brendon: Hey here’s some pies lets have a-
All: Pie fight! Pie fight! Pie fight!

Random Observations & Facts:
· Music from “The Wizard’s Baker” is heard consistently throughout
the background of this episode. On the soundtrack it is appropiately
titled "I'm A Kid Again".
· The Wizard’s electricity fingernails seem to be colored Christmas
tree lights.
· The Wizard’s melting brains is a melting wax candle.
· The prop list:
Castle
Flock of pigeons/Bird wrangler (Thanks to Arben for the correction)
Computer Graphics
Ice sculptor/puppeteer
Socks
Grandfather Clock
Kilts
Scuba Gear
Horse and Buggy
Robot
Plutonium (a lot of it)
· On the board: “Our budgit: 0”
· Potential Investors:
Paula
Erik
Lynch
The Crystal Spirit Family (Coffins & Cradles)
Jimmy Monet (Guitarmageddon)
· Sign next to Jimmy Monet’s door: “Knock if you’re ready to
rock!”
· Ultimate Sword Package:
Number: 867-5309
SAYH Price: $15,049
Special Price: $12,099
S+H: $99.99
Easy Pay: $4,033 x 3
The Dragon Pack: Contains all 15 swords; is weather proof; impress
your friends!
Authentic Excalibur Replica: Order now and receive a free letter opener!
The sword easily cuts up a can; turns a fish into perfect sushi pieces;
and turns a piece of wood into a birdhouse.
· Jason waves to the baby before mentioning it.
· McGuirk scratches his back with the sword several times.
· Brendon tries to steal “Strong Beer” from McGuirk’s groceries,
but the clerk stops him.
· Someone is apparently peeing in some of the food in the background
of the Skunk Scouts scene.

Past Episode References:
· The trio appeal to The Crystal Spirit Family (the cult like
group) for investing in their movie. This organization was first seen
in Episode 313 – Coffins and Cradles.
· Jimmy Monet, who is also appealed to for investments, was
originally seen in Episode 308 – Guitarmageddon.
· Eugene is the kid who peed in McGuirk’s canteen all the way
back in Episode 105 – Yoko.
· Both Black Hole Brew and Red Eye Whiskey can be seen in McGuirk’s
groceries (both have been seen throughout the series).
· Lynch’s cat costume in the ending credits scene was his Halloween
costume in Episode 313 – Coffins and Cradles.
Movie & Other References:
· The number for the Shop At Your House network is 867-5309,
as in the name of the popular 80s song.
· Excalibur, for those who don’t know, is the mythical sword,
which by legend was placed into a rock. Only the rightful King of
England could pull the sword out.
THIS REFERENCE HAS BEEN CORRECTED:
Excalibur was, in fact, NOT the "sword in the stone." According
to Sir Thomas
Mallory's "Morte D'Arthur" and other accounts, the sword
in the stone was
just a sword like any other. A while after Arthur drew the sword and
was
named King, Merlin took him to see the Lady of the Lake, who granted
Excalibur to Arthur as a gift. Those who have, understandably, mixed
this
information up have probably gotten their version of the story from
the
popular film "Excalibur," in which Excalibur is the sword
in the stone.
There is no doubt that the creators of that mostly fine film were
just
looking to keep the running time short (and besides, there was a later
scene
with the Lady of the Lake, and they probably wished to avoid redundancy
as
well) [Thanks to Lyle Raymond for this correction]
· McGuirk cuts to the next scene in a Zorro-esque fashion.
End Credits: Wizard’s Baker Rock Opera

Reviews:
Delthayre: In all honesty,
most of "The Wizard's Baker" didn't amuse me and the focus
seemed off. It wasn't excrutiating the way later episodes of Sealab
2021 and all episodes of The Ripping Friends are, but it just didn't
make me me laugh. It was interesting to see Eugene again, but him,
Junior Addleberg, and Lindenson all felt rather tacked on and didn't
get to do anything interesting. The best laughs in the central story
came from Jason's bits with the baby and violent squabble while the
Wizard Baker played. Really, McGuirk saved it. Everything with the
swords was hilarious, the ending especially.
I would give this something just south of average for not making
me laugh while at least sparing me a headache, but...
SPAGHETTI TIME!
*** out of *****
Movie Guy:
So in conclusion, this takes the cake as my all-time favorite episode
of Home Movies. It was a great idea, it had great animation and great
everything! I know this sounds bad, but this episode was awesome.
I felt that this episode brought back a lot of memories, such as...Arnold
Lindenson, Stephanie, Jimmy Monet and, of course, Eugene. It surprised
me that they brought back a character from "The UPN 5".
I was just in total awe, Brendon Small and Bill Braudis and the rest
of the writers have made pure comic genius here. After last week's
"Heart Smashers", I was not expecting this complete and
utter (Get it, the cow in the music- forget it.) masterpiece.
The animation was superb, I loved Jason and Melissa's pitch. I hate
to say this, but, I've never given so much praise to HM before. Brendon's
storyline was great. I mean, an 8-year old trying to recapture his
youth is very funny. McGuirk's storyline was fantastic. Probably because
it was more realistic, buying swords from a home shopping network
could happen. It's more likely to happen then to be chased by a cult
or have your "pecs" explode.
My positives were everything
My negatives were none
Grade: A+
GMB: I liked it. The
actual "Wizard's baker" stuff was that good kinda insane
we haven't seen from "Home Movies" since about "History."
Likewise the stuff with McGurik and the swords rocked. Him trying
to pay for his groceries with one is hysterical
It was the stuff in the middle I had problems with, because the whole
"Brendon doesn't want to make movies anymore" thing kinda
came out of nowhere and was resolved way too quickly anyway. Plus
the Skunk Scouts stuff died on the screen.
Fortunately, the stuff it triggered made up for it. I give it a B+
Fone Bone: Gasp! Kill
off Melissa, Jason, And Brendan? NEVER!!! I wish Brendan would get
into his movies again. That seems to be a recurring theme this year.
I loved McGuirk trying to return his swords over the phone. Swords
are cutlery. Hee hee! Man, he was careless with those things wasn't
he? God forbid he ever gets a gun! Brendan did not want to be near
those things at all. I was surprised the grocery store doesn't accept
swords for food. Huh. You learn something new every day.
I loved Melissa and Jason going door-to-door trying to get investors.
It was funny seeing the bald chick in the cult again. Jason's spaz
at the pitch with the fat baby was funny. I love them and Brendan
when they get into little spats. I thought Paula flatly turning them
down was hilarious. They lady who voices her is so dead-pan and funny.
Really, all the characters on this show are great.
No Walter and Perry this week. Oh well.
A very nippley episode. Score: **** out of *****
Jaguar: This episode
was okay. The plot was really..eh.. with the exception of McGuirk
and the swords (Eating spaghetti with sai = cool). It actually reminded
me of when I sometimes watch America's Store and I get tempted to
order swords from the "Collectible Knives" show that comes
on every friday. Jason had a lot of good dialogue in this episode,
IMO.
Lindenson was good, but he was still better in "Identifying
a Body".
My favorite scene would probably have to be the one with McGuirk
at the supermarket and the cashier looks at him and says "We
don't take swords" with this look of annoyance and fear on his
face.
But as far as this episode goes compared to the rest of the season...it
was a little off. Still, it was enough to keep my interest. I give
it a B-.
The Gunnshuu: Wizard's
Baker is probably my favorite episode of Season 4 so far. It just
felt more "Home Movies" than the other four. I think it's
one of those episodes that holds well over time.
Brendon probably has these thoughts of "wanting to get away
from it all" once in a while (as evident in Stow A Way), and
haven't we all thought "screw it, I'm gonna go live in the woods"
or something of that nature? Jason and Melissa's countering enthusiasm
for the movie to the lengths of employing marketing gimmicks (posters,
action figures, door-to-door search for investors) to get it off the
ground were hilarious. All this would culiminate into a chaotic brawl
at the spaghetti dinner topped off by...
McGuirk, who apparently can download internet porn for 12 hours but
has never heard of eBay. The "swords" sidestory was just
as entertaining with the lonely McGuirk ordering them just for the
hell of it, threatening to kill the home shopping people, failing
to exchange his swords for food (presumably McGuirk doesn't know America
doesn't use the barter system), and his random, dare I say badass
appearances at the end; first at the dinner and then, in the credits,
teaming up with Lynch (in his catsuit) to fight crime. It's just McGuirk
at his best.
The only off-putting thing about the episode were the pointless cameos,
but it's a minor detail, and everything else felt so right. A+
The Landstander: Upon
first seeing this episode, I thought it was somewhere in the middle.
Decent, but nothing special. Upon watching it again, this is really
one of the best episodes of season 4; perhaps only second to "Focus
Grill". I think that the "Brendon is getting sick of the
movies" theme which played through season 4 threw some people
off, but when you take this episode with "Focus Grill" it's
really a great build-up.
But that's almost too abstract; this episode just plain works. "The
Wizard's Baker" is fun, non-sensical, and the writing smart enough
to pull off stupid. The music is catchy, too. It was neat to see Jason
and Melissa working together instead of at each other's throats; their
enthuiasm for something so stupid was great. This is when season 4
works; the setups might be a bit contrived or outside of realism (think
Jason and Melissa going door to door with a presentation), but the
actual interaction is so true to form and funny that it doesn't matter.
Jason's freak out over the baby is a perfect example, or the ending
presentation at the spaghetti dinner. The Skunk Scouts stuff was decently
funny but not the highlight here.
Seeing Eugene and Mr. Lindenson was...weird. Judging by the commentaries
they seem to be friends with people on the show, but their appearance
felt more out of nowhere than anything. Maybe a nod to hardcore fans.
Or maybe the comics were just in town. Maybe both.
Then, there's a stand-alone wacky McGuirk plot. Sometimes these plots
work ("Writer's Block"), other times they fall flat ("The
Heart Smashers"). This is squarely in the former. I mean, really.
He was drunk one night and got thousands of dollars worth of swords.
Now he doesn't quite know how to get rid of them. So he...tries selling
them for beer. At a real store. And makes a scene when they aren't
accepted. I really don't know how to explain the comedy beyond that.
Finally, and this is what I never realized, Brendon has some real
development here. In a way I don't think the "Wizard's Baker"
movie is dumber than Starboy or really anything else they've made,
but Brendon's general boredom with his own material and his desperation
to do something normal with his boyhood is quite well done. Of course,
it's played for laughs (like everything on HM), such as the scene
where Brendon envies "Josie's youth", but the development
is still there. Of the various non-finale season 4 episodes with a
underlying context of "Brendon's getting bored with movies",
or even simply of season 4 in general, this is the most effective,
most true and best overall. Highly Recommended.
