Name: Jon McGuirk
Voice: H. Jon Benjamin

Angry, bitter, cynical, depressed, angry, drunk, Irish, and angry may be the best words to describe Jon McGuirk. Despite this, he has somehow landed a gig at the school as a soccer coach, a sport he may or may not have ever played. Though he spends much of him time drunk and attempting (often failing) to get out of his own situation in life, McGuirk still finds some enjoyment out of helping Brendon with his menial situation in daily life. Even if the advice isn't very good.

Appears In: McGuirk is in every episode with the exception of "Brendon Gets Rabies".