Home Movies Season 2, Episode 07: ďDadĒ
Done by Johnny Limarzi

Inside the Small house.
Brendon: [sighs]
Paula: So Brendon, have fun this weekend okay?
Brendon: Mom, mom, you already told me like 12 times.
Paula: But this time I mean it.
Brendon: Alright
Paula: Uh, this zipper is really stuck.
Brendon: I know.
Paula: Did you spill soda on it or glue or ...?
Brendon: Uh, probably.
Paula: Brendon, how did you zip it up this far?
Brendon: I didnít. I just pulled it over my head like a sweatshirt.
Paula: Well, I donít have time to fix it now; your fatherís gonna be here soon. Now remember what I told you.
Brendon: Have fun?
Paula: Yes, and best behavior, be nice, be polite, do what he says, brush your teeth, and have fun.
Brendon: Right fun.
[A car horn sounds to the tune of ďla cucarachaĒ]
Paula: That must be him.
Brendon: Please tell me you mean Ďthe burrito maní.
Paula: Itís him!
Brendon: [Clears throat]
Paula: I love you honey. Have fun.
Brendon: Mom, could you do me a favor while Iím away?
Paula: Sure, what?
Brendon: I want you to have fun.
Paula: Brendon!
Brendon: See, it doesnít feel so good.
Paula: Go!
Brendon: No!
Paula: Bye, Brendon, have fun.
Brendon: No, you have fun.
Paula: No, you have fun.
Brendon: No, you have fun.
Paula: Brendon stopÖ
Brendon: No!
Paula: Öit; be nice.
Brendon: You be nice.
Paula: You be nice.
Brendon: IÖÖ..
Paula: Youíre going have fun. [Pushes him out and slams the door]

Outside the Small House.
Andrew: Hi, Brendon.
Brendon: Hi, uh, uh, you.
Andrew: You look good, Brendon.
Brendon: Well thanks, um, Iíve been working out. Uh, you, uh, look like your picture.
Andrew: [Laughs] He he, thanks.
Brendon: Yeah.
Andrew: Uh, well, shall we?
Brendon: Okay.
[Car door closes]

Inside Andrewís Car
Andrew: SoÖ
Brendon: SoÖ
Andrew: Whatís up, big guy?
Brendon: Oh, ya know.
Andrew: You know what, uh, weíve been on the phone talking, uh, but I donít, I think that the last time I saw you, I donít know you were, uhÖ
Brendon: I was shorter.
Andrew: Youíre a little taller I noticed that. Youíre loÖ, you know, youíre longer.
Brendon: Um, thank you.
Andrew: Hey, you know what I was thinking?
Brendon: Whatís that?
Andrew: Uh, letís go to the zoo.
Brendon: DuhÖ, well yaÖ, the zooís great, sure.
Andrew: So, you know, see some animalsÖ
Brendon: Um, okayÖ
Andrew: Öyou like animals, right?
Brendon: Well I understand thatís the place to go toÖ
Andrew: Hey, I love animals, Brendon.
Brendon: Oh.
Andrew: In fact if I didnít become a lawyer, I was gonna become, uh, a zoologist. You know? Although some people say a lawyer is a type of animal [laughing]. You know? Like a reptile, thatís what people ha ha are always saying. Uh, those people, you know, they donít know though, Brendon. They donít know how hard I work, uhÖ
Brendon: Mm huh.
Andrew: Öand I do it for you.
Brendon: Oh.
Andrew: Oh, by the way, uh, weíre gonna meet my girlfriend Linda at the zoo, since youíve agreed to go to the zoo.
Brendon: What is she, uh, one of the exhibits?
Andrew: Uh, let me tell you something, she could be.
Brendon: [Laughing] Ha she, what is she an animal?
Andrew: Uh, no. Youíre not kidding.
Brendon: [Laughs] Ha ha ha.
Andrew: Hello?
Brendon: Hi.
Andrew: Whatís up?
Brendon: Nothing. I thought we just covered this.
Andrew: Tell him Iíll call him Monday. No, Reynolds can handle all that stuff. Yeah, Iím, Iím taking the weekend off. Iím taking my son to the zoo. Yeah, okay, bye. Iím sorry, Brendon. Iím, Iím plugged in here. So, uh, where were we?
[Coach McGuirk speeds by in his car]
Brendon: Your girlfriendís an animal.
Andrew: Hey, watch where youíre going! [Honks his ďLa CucarachaĒ horn]
Brendon: [Sighs] Nice horn.

Outside the zoo.
Andrew: Linda.
Linda: Where have you been?
Andrew: What? Weíre early.
Linda: Yeah, well, so was I. I had a hellish day at the hospital. I had to get out of there.
Andrew: Sorry, Linda. This is my son, Brendon. Brendon, this is Linda.
Brendon: Very pleased to meet you, Linda.
Linda: Hello Brendon, itís nice to meet you too.
Brendon: Heh, yeah.
Linda: A guy ran over my foot.
Andrew: What?
Linda: Right over my big toe; I was wheeling him into the elevator and for some stupid reason, the idiot backs up. Iím like ďHey, idiotĒ and he runs right over my toe.
Andrew: Oh, thatís terrible. Well, how does it feel now?
Linda: It hurts.
Brendon: Are you a doctor?
Linda: Uh, no, Iím not a doctor.
Brendon: You a nurse?
Linda: No.
Brendon: Are you a patient?
Andrew: Linda does volunteer work at the hospital.
Linda: Mmhmm.
Andrew: Look Linda, do you want to go home maybe soak your toe or something?
Linda: No, no. I said Iíd do the zoo with you two boys so letís do the zoo.
Brendon: One time my friend Jason, uh, ran over my toe with a skateboard, so I have a feeling I think I know what youíre going through.
Linda: [Interrupting over ďI thinkĒ] Yes, well, I think a 250 pound man in a wheelchair is a tad heavier than some four year old on a skateboard. Donít you think?
Brendon: Um, you have a good point, but still, uh, you know, I did break my toe, soÖ
Andrew: You broke your toe?
Brendon: Yeah.
Andrew: When did you break your toe?
Brendon: As soon as the skateboard went over it.
Andrew: Your mother never told me you broke your toe. My child broke a bone, and I didnít know about it!
Brendon: Iím fine, I think.
Andrew: Well, what are we gonna do? Are you alright?
Brendon: I think so.
Andrew: Should we go somewhere?
Brendon: No itís jÖ, itís just, itís, itís..
Linda: Andrew, obviously the kid is fine.
Andrew: Okay, great! Well, letís, hey, letís do the zoo you guys.
Brendon: Okay.
Andrew: Come on, letís do the zoo.
Brendon: Letís do the zoo.

Montage of Zoo scenes.

At an exhibit of the Sumatran Tiger.
Brendon: Hmmm, um, maybe heís sleeping.
Andrew: Hmm, ďThe Sumatran Tiger: Panthera Tigris Sumatrae.Ē It says here itís a very beautiful animal and very rare.
Brendon: Great. I like my beautiful animals medium rare.
Andrew: [Laughs] Ha ha, good one.
Brendon: Thank you.
Andrew: Letís give him a couple more minutes.
Brendon: Okay. A couple more minutesÖ
Andrew: Oh Linda, there you are! I was beginning to think one of the animals got you, ha ha. [Laughs]
Linda: Well, while you two were having fun, I volunteered to sit with some baby llamas next week.
Andrew: Wow! Thatís great, Linda.
Linda: Yeah, I know.
Brendon: Yeah.
Linda: So, can we leave now?
Andrew: Well, actually, weíre waiting for the panthera tigrus verius rarus to come outus, ha ha ha ha. [Laughs]
Brendon: [Laughs] Ha ha, heís a very shy animal.
Linda: Why donít you just throw a rock at it?
Andrew: We should probably just get going.
Brendon: Yeah, letís get going.

At Andrew and Lindaís apartment at night.
Andrew: Hey, can you see the stars?
Brendon: Those people are famous?
Andrew: Ah, stop looking in peopleís windows, Brendon.
Brendon: Hey, did you ever, did you ever see any murders?
Andrew: No.
Linda: Whereís my blue towel?
Andrew: Huh?
Linda: Did you take a blue towel off the shelf?
Brendon: I, uh, I might have. What color was it?
Linda: Yeah, I think you did.
Brendon: Oh.
Andrew: Iím sorry, Linda. I forgot to tell him.
Linda: Of course you forgot. I mean, weíve only been living together for five months. Why should you remember something thatís important to me?
Brendon: You, you can have it back. I mean I, I really didnít even use it that much.
Linda: Can I talk to you in private please?
Brendon: Sure.
Linda: Not you. [In the next room] Am I too demanding?
Andrew: No.
Linda: So I have a favorite towel, so what? You have a favorite shirt; you have a favorite mug. I ask one thing: donít let anybody use my towel.
Brendon: [Talking to himself] Iíll use your stupid towel anytime I want. And your stupid green towel and your stupid red towel. Hey! A shooting star. You know, you know what? Iíll use your toothbrush, too. Thatís what Iíll do.
Linda: Did you use my toothbrush?
Brendon: [Giggles] He he. Ha ha. Ha ha hmm

The next morning.
Andrew: [In a mock French accent] Uh, good morning monsieur Brendon, how did you sleep eh?
Brendon: Like this [snores]
Andrew: Ah of course, trez bien, trez bien. Would you like to start off with a tray of bienz?
Brendon: Hey, no thanks but I, uh, how bout some OJ?
Andrew: Oui, and what would you like for zee cereal?
Brendon: I think I will have the uh dinosaur shaped sugar puff-flakes
Andrew: Uh, excellent.
Brendon: Eh, thank you.
Linda: Why didnít you wake me?
Andrew: Uh, Linda could you get a robe on or something?
Brendon: Good morning to me!
Linda: You were supposed to wake me at 7:45.
Andrew: I did.
Linda: Yeah, well you didnít do a very good job of it; itís 8:30.
Andrew: I know, butÖ
Linda: I got to be at the cancer institute at nine oíclock.
Andrew: Iím, Iím sorry. I guess you fell back to sleep.
Linda: Oh, so youíre only gonna wake me once is that it? Heh. I get one shot and thatís it. Heh. Thanks a lot. Now I gotta rush. Great. Iím gonna have a fun day at the cancer institute.
Andrew: Well, uh, so, [clears throat] I was thinking, uh [clears throat] finish off at the zoo today.
Linda: Did you use my deodorant?

At the Sumatran Tiger exhibit in the zoo.
Andrew: Things are gonna be different, Brendon. Now that Iím living closer, weíre gonna spend a lot more time together.
Brendon: Will I see you next weekend?
Andrew: Uh, no, next weekend Iím in Dallas.
Brendon: Oh.
Andrew: I mean, Iíll, Iíll still travel a lot, you know, but when Iím aroundÖ
Brendon: Yeah.
Andrew: Hello?
Brendon: Hello.
Andrew: What?
Brendon: I said uh yeÖ
Andrew: No, no, forget it.
Brendon: Oh.
Andrew: Just tell him no. Look, Reynolds, relax. Get out of the office! Go to the zoo or something. Yeah, alright. Bye. Iím sorry, Brendon, itís, itís a big case.
Brendon: Sure.
Andrew: Anyway I, um, [Brendon slurps from straw] Iíd like us to see more of each other when I am around. Because, uh, weíre still a family, you know.
Brendon: Sure.
Andrew: I mean, kind of.
Brendon: Yeah, I know.
Andrew: And because, wellÖ
Brendon: Uh huh.
Andrew: Because Iím gonna ask Linda to marry me.
Brendon: [Spits out his drink]

*commercial*

At the playground.
Melissa: So are you gonna stop her from marrying your father?
Brendon: No, I, itís not. See, I have to stop my father from marrying her.
Melissa: Thatís what I said.
Brendon: No. No no no. You said stop her from marrying him. And sheís not marrying him; heís marrying her.
Melissa: Itís the same thing as long as they both agree.
Brendon: Oh. Well, I mean, you knowÖ
Jason: Hey Brendon, your fatherís sorta old enough to make up his own mind, you know? Itís really not your decision.
Brendon: Alright well, yeÖ
Jason: Is he in love with her?
Melissa: If he is in love, then they have to get marriedÖ
Brendon: Wow!
Melissa: Öand right away.
Brendon: [Groans] OhÖ
Melissa: Because thatís what love is: you get married right away.
Jason: Um, Brendon, maybe this will help. Um, one night I walked into my parentsí bedroom, and my parents saw me naked.
Brendon: You were naked?
Jason: Yeah.
Melissa: Why were you naked?
Jason: I love it.

At Soccer practice.
Coach McGuirk: lright everybody, quiet down. Who was talking? Melissa?
Melissa: Sorry.
Coach McGuirk: This new kid here is Eddy.
Entire Team: Hi, Eddy.
Coach McGuirk: Alright, Eddy, take a hike while I explain to everybody whatís wrong with you.
Melissa: Coach, is Eddy sick?
Coach McGuirk: Who told you?
Melissa: Nobody I was juÖ
Coach McGuirk: Donít do my job for me Melissa, okay?
Melissa: Okay.
Coach McGuirk: Alright now everybody, Eddyís sick, but heís a good kid. Heís like the son I never had Ö or I donít know about. Anyway, anyone messing with eddy messes with me. You got that Melissa?
Melissa: Iím not gonna mess with Eddy.
Coach McGuirk: Good. Now this is complicated, so just bear with me. Eddy was born with some kind of problem. And he takes medication for it. Any questions? Good. Look at him out there, so small, so defenseless. Heís like a chipmunk Ö with a disease. Who didnít love that analogy? Alright, here are some of the warning signs that tell you somethingís wrong with Eddy. What I like to call this part of the speech is, ďYou know Eddyís sick if:Ē dot dot dot. If he stops breathing. If he vomits blood. If he ever says, ďHelp.Ē Or if it looks like heís saying, ďHelp,Ē [Eddy falls down] but he canít say, ďHelp;Ē heís like mouthing it. UhÖ
Brendon: Uh, Coach McGuirk? Eddy just fell.
Coach McGuirk: Oh God. Is he up yet?
Brendon: No.
Coach McGuirk: How Ďbout now?
Brendon: Uh [sighs], nope.
Coach McGuirk: Well give him a few minutes, Brendon!
Brendon: Hey, donít yell at me! Iím just, he fell.
Coach McGuirk: This canít happen the first day, Brendon. Whatís he doing?
Brendon: Heís moving.
Coach McGuirk: Is he? Alright. Melissa?
Melissa: Yeah?
Coach McGuirk: Go drag him off the field, so we can start practice.
Melissa: K.

Split screen between Paula and Andrew on the phone.
Paula: No, really, I didnít mean to laugh. Itís just I mean 11 years younger than you? My God, Ö Hey! Why donít I have the both of you over for dinner?
Andrew: What?
Paula: You and Lydia. An engagement dinner. Can she stay out late?
Andrew: Itís Linda, and you know it.
Paula: Itíll be fun. Iíll make you a Ö I donít know; Iíll make you a something.
Andrew: I donít, I donít want you to go through any trouble.
Paula: Howís Thursday night?
Andrew: I donít know; I, I haÖ, I gotta check with Linda.
Paula: So itís settled. Weíll see you and the little missus on Thursday night.
Andrew: Okay, okay. Should we bring anything?
Paula: Just yourselves Ö and maybe a note from her parents if sheís gonna be out late.

At the soccer match.
Coach McGuirk: Alright, good, Eddy, good. That was a nice kick. Alright now, get ready because Iím gonna kick this one a little harder. This oneís coming like a rocket. Get ready for it. Here we go. [Kicks it into Eddyís head and Eddy falls over]. Oh. Eddy! Iím sorry. That was a good stop though, you really used your, uh Ö mouth. Wow. Well, that must have been loose anyway, right? UhÖ
Melissa: Coach!
Coach McGuirk: Melissa, not now. What?
Melissa: Weíre getting killed out there. We need your help.
Coach McGuirk: You coach, Melissa. Iím elsewhere, alright. Iím helping Eddy.
Melissa: Okay.
Coach McGuirk: What, whaddya got false teeth in there Eddy?
Melissa: [Yelling] Hey, other team. We quit.
Coach McGuirk: Hey Melissa, what did I teach you about team spirit?
Melissa: Oh sorry. [Yelling] So long suckers [Kisses her hand and slaps her butt]
Coach McGuirk: Thatís better. Alright. Hey Melissa, watch where youíre stepping because thereís teeth on the ground here.
Melissa: EwwÖ
Coach McGuirk: Eddy? Eddy? [Laughs nervously] Heh. Eddy?

In the Small kitchen.
Brendon: Mom. Whatís going on?
Paula: Iím making a practice meal. Taste this.
Brendon: Mm.
Paula: Does it need something? What does it need?
Brendon: Better flavor.
Paula: I think thereís too much fennel and not enough sage. Or too much rosemary. But itís called rosemary chicken so how can you go wrong with a lot of rosemary?
Brendon: [Clears throat] Uh, mom. Does it bother you that whatís his nameís getting remarried again?
Paula: Well um, Brendon first of all, heís not remarrying again, heís just remarrying.
Brendon: But the, uh, but does it bother you?
Paula: If he were remarrying again, then that would mean that heís been married at least twice before and as far as I know, this will only be his second marriage, and no it doesnít bother me too much. Try this.
Brendon: Mm. [Bleck] Um, I think it has too much flannel.
Paula: Flennel.
Brendon: Flennel?
Paula: I think youíre right. You said you liked Linda, right?
Brendon: Uh, I, no, I said that sheís very pretty in the morning. But uh, I donít know; she, she always seems to be in a bad mood.
Paula: Mmhmm. Try this.
Brendon: That tastes like uh Ö chalk.
Paula: Perfect. Weíll have this, and uh, you can have macaroni.

At Soccer practice.
Coach McGuirk: Alright everybody, gather round. I got some bad news, so listen up. This is the part of the job I love. Eddy is no longer with us.
Melissa: What?
Coach McGuirk: Now wait a minute. Let me explain something, alright. Eddy moved to Arizona Ö which is a state. Apparently itís healthier there. You know, itís better for Eddy to live like a lizard Ö in the desert Ö crawling around Ö eating bugs.

On the bleachers.
Brendon: [Clears throat] Hey, coach? Do you miss Eddy?
Coach McGuirk: Donít be ridiculous, Brendon. Eddy was sick.
Brendon: Yeah.
Coach McGuirk: You donít miss sick people. [Clears throat] But it was kinda fun having Eddy around, you know? He sorta reminded me of me when I was his age.
Brendon: Uh, really?
Coach McGuirk: Well, no. But he did remind me of me about two years ago.
Brendon: Well.
Coach McGuirk: But being with him made me think Iíd like to spend some time working with kids, you know?
Brendon: But y- you do spend time working with kids. Coach McGuirk. Youíre a soccer coach.
Coach McGuirk: Shut up, Brendon
Brendon: Okay.
Coach McGuirk: Iím talking about quality time. You know, like one on one. You know?
Brendon: Sure.
Coach McGuirk: Iím thinking about becoming a big brother.
Brendon: Well, y-you are big
Coach McGuirk: Well, get out on that field and show me what you can do, Brendon.
Brendon: Nah.

In the Smallís basement.
Brendon: So this is the studio.
Linda: Looks like the basement. Ha [Laughs]
Brendon: Itís also the basement. Hereís some of our work.
Andrew: Wow. Thatís very impressive, Brendon.
Brendon: Yeah.
Linda: Uh, let me get this straight: you make movies?
Brendon: Yeah.
Andrew: So, you, you got something you want to show us?
Linda: Iím going to go get a glass of wine.
Andrew: Okay, sweetie.
Brendon: This is our current work in progress. [Clears throat]
[Turns on TV]

Allís Pharaoh in Love & War.
Brendon: Good morning, my dearest dear. How lovely you look over there ... uh, you look
Melissa: [Interrupting over ďuh, you lookĒ] You were supposed to wake me, and you didnít, and I overslept, and now Iím gonna be late for everything, and itís all your fault.
Brendon: Iím sorry, but I did wake you, my pretty princess, but I guess you fell back to sleep.
Melissa: Then you didnít wake me.
Brendon: Oh, but I did.
Melissa: How could I be awake if I was sleeping?
Brendon: Well, I Ö donít know, my shiny angel head.
Melissa: It doesnít matter now anyway.
Brendon: Of course not, my precious jewel.
Melissa: My day is ruined!
Brendon: Donít let a little cloud spoil the sunshine, cupcake face.
Melissa: And did you use my red towel?
Brendon: Oh Iím, Iím sorry tulip honey, I, I must have forgotten, I
Melissa: Youíre not supposed to use my red towel. My red towel is for me only.
Brendon: Yes! Yes, Iím sorry, my beautiful bunny. Will you marry me?
[Turns off TV]

Andrew: [Clears throat] Brendon, are you, uh, trying to tell me something?
Brendon: No?

At the dinner table.
Paula: More wine, anyone?
Andrew: No, thank you.
Linda: No.
Brendon: I, yes!
Paula: Me too.
Linda: So how was the movie?
Andrew: Huh? Oh, the movie. Uh, it was good!
Paula: Isnít Brendon talented? Howís the chicken?
Linda: Good.
Paula: Well thank you, Linda
Andrew: Itís excellent, Paula.
Linda: Why do you have to one up me?
Andrew: I wasnít one upping you; I was concurring with you.
Linda: I said, ďGoodĒ and you said, ďExcellent.Ē If you were concurring, you just would have just said, ďGood.Ē
Brendon: Hmm.
Andrew: I was just sayingÖ
Linda: Yeah, yeah, fine. Whatever.
Brendon: [Clears throat]
Paula: So you two lovebirds set a date yet or what?
Linda: Probably in three months.
Paula: Three months? Why wait?
Linda: Tell me Paula, are you seeing anyone? I mean, is three months enough time for you to get a date?
Andrew: Pass the peas please, somebody!
Brendon: [Clears throat] Weíre not having peas.
Andrew: Well something tastes like peas. Just pass something!
Paula: As a matter of fact, I am seeing someone.
Andrew: Youíre seeing someone? You didnít tell me you were seeing someone.
Paula: Oh sure. Heís a cute little fella by the name of Mr. Television. Ever heard of him?
Brendon: Milton Berle?
Paula: Brendon.
Brendon: Mom, heís so old.
Andrew: Paula, donít Ö donít.
Paula: Youíre marrying a twenty-something year old girl who looks like she stepped out of a fashion magazine and youíre telling me, ďDonít?Ē
Andrew: Will you excuse us for a moment?

In the kitchen.
Paula: [Whispers] Do you know how long itís been since Iíve been intimate with a man? Huh?
Andrew: [Whispers] Can we discuss this later?
Paula: [Whispers] Guess.
Andrew: [Whispers] Can I guess later?
Paula: [Whispers] Guess it now. Over two years?
Andrew: [Whispers] Seriously?
Paula: [Whispers] Why did I just tell you that?

At the dinner table.
Brendon: I, hey, are you, youíre not using my dinosaur glass are you?
Linda: Nice try.
Brendon: Do you love my father?
Linda: What kind of question is that?
Brendon: Just a kind of question that ends with a question mark.
Linda: Yeah! Of course.
Brendon: Did you ever see him naked?
Linda: Thatís it! Andrew!

At the Sumatran Tiger exhibit in the zoo.
Punk Kid: So you gonna get me some smokes or what?
Coach McGuirk: You know, you shouldnít smoke, alright? Plus, I already gave you a pack.
Punk Kid: Oh, dude, come on. Get me something Ö
Coach McGuirk: [Interrupting over ďGet me somethingĒ] Hey, donít call me dude, alright? Iím older than you.
Punk Kid: Whatever. Iím outta here. This is lame. Youíre lame.
Coach McGuirk: Hey, good. You know what? Go. See if I care.
Punk Kid: Adios.
Coach McGuirk: Iím going to the agency tomorrow anyway and getting a better little brother. Better than you! You suck as a little brother! Wow. Nice tiger.

At the zoo.
Andrew: Linda and I love each other, Brendon. I know it doesnít always look that way because weíre adults.
Brendon: Oh.
Andrew: But the marriage is gonna work.
Brendon: Okay.
Andrew: Weíre gonna be fine.
Brendon: Alright.
Andrew: And youíre gonna be part of our life and your momís life. Okay?
Brendon: Okay.
Andrew: Hello?
Brendon: Okay.
Andrew: What?
Brendon: Oh.
Andrew: Just kidding.
Brendon: [Laughs] He he. Um, Dad, are you even happy?
Andrewv Yes, Brendon, Iím happy. Are you happy?
Brendon: Sure. But can we go somewhere besides the zoo? Please?

Split between Coach McGuirkís house and the Big Brother Agency.
[Telephone rings]
Ken: Hello? Big Brother Agency.
Coach McGuirk: Yeah, hey, this is, uh, Jon McGuirk. I was in to see you. Whoís this?
Ken: This is, uh, Ken.
Coach McGuirk: Oh, hey, Ken, I talked to you yesterday remember, uhÖ
Ken: Oh, hello. How you doing?
Coach McGuirk: Yeah, remember Ken yesterday that kid took off, andÖ
Ken: Yeah, we had big problem with that.
Coach McGuirk: Yeah, did you find him?
Ken: We never found him, no.
Coach McGuirk: Yeah, that kid was definitely troubled.
Ken: Uh, how to say you not so good influence on the guy.
Coach McGuirk: Uh, it wasnít me, Ken, I just like you know I just, uh.
Ken: I donít want to point finger but you know Ö
Coach McGuirk: Ma ma maÖ
Ken: Ö sometime you have to point the finger.
Coach McGuirk: Yeah.
Ken: But why you call Jon McGuirk?
Coach McGuirk: Well actually, I was, uh, I was hoping to be set up again with another kid, you know, because that one didnít work out so well.
Ken: Okay, yeah well, look through my file we have plenty of kid here, which is uh Ö
Coach McGuirk: Uh, can I make a recommendation?
Ken: Whatís that?
Coach McGuirk: Uh, could you get me somebody sick?
Ken: Okay, well, Iím a look through my file. I get one kid, Iím looking right here.
Coach McGuirk: Mmhmm
Ken: We got one kid who has, uh, no eyes.
Coach McGuirk: Whoís blind?
Ken: No, he just has no eyes.
Coach McGuirk: But he can see?
Ken: No, he canít see nothing.
Coach McGuirk: Right.
Ken: It says here, ďNo eyesĒ on this paper. It says, ďCannot seeĒ also in parenthesis.
Coach McGuirk: Well what, do you have anything more sick?
Ken: More sick? Well I got one kid who has a wooden leg.
Coach McGuirk: Wooden leg? Thatís not bad.
Ken: Yeah, and the other one plastic.
Coach McGuirk: So one plastic, one wooden leg.
Ken: Yeah, I guess he, he couldnít find a matching pair.
Coach McGuirk: Thatís pretty sad.
Ken: Thatís not so good, yeah.
Coach McGuirk: Wow, Iíd love to put those two kids together.
Ken: If you, if you could combine those kids, it would some pretty good thing.
Coach McGuirk: Yeah, like one plastic leg, one wooden leg, no eyes.
Ken: Yeah.
Coach McGuirk: Hey Ken, I like you.
Ken: I like you too, ha ha, I have to admit, I do like you a little bit. [Laughing]
Coach McGuirk: [Laughs] Ha ha. Itís pretty shocking that you run a Big Brother Agency.
Ken: Thatís pretty crazy, the other guyís sick. Thatís why. Iím kinda just working temporarily, yeah.
Coach McGuirk: Yeah.