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Movies Season 2, Episode 07: “Dad”
Done by Johnny Limarzi
Inside the Small house.
Brendon: [sighs]
Paula: So Brendon, have fun this weekend okay?
Brendon: Mom, mom, you already told me like 12 times.
Paula: But this time I mean it.
Brendon: Alright
Paula: Uh, this zipper is really stuck.
Brendon: I know.
Paula: Did you spill soda on it or glue or ...?
Brendon: Uh, probably.
Paula: Brendon, how did you zip it up this far?
Brendon: I didn’t. I just pulled it over my head like a sweatshirt.
Paula: Well, I don’t have time to fix it now; your father’s gonna
be here soon. Now remember what I told you.
Brendon: Have fun?
Paula: Yes, and best behavior, be nice, be polite, do what he says,
brush your teeth, and have fun.
Brendon: Right fun.
[A car horn sounds to the tune of “la cucaracha”]
Paula: That must be him.
Brendon: Please tell me you mean ‘the burrito man’.
Paula: It’s him!
Brendon: [Clears throat]
Paula: I love you honey. Have fun.
Brendon: Mom, could you do me a favor while I’m away?
Paula: Sure, what?
Brendon: I want you to have fun.
Paula: Brendon!
Brendon: See, it doesn’t feel so good.
Paula: Go!
Brendon: No!
Paula: Bye, Brendon, have fun.
Brendon: No, you have fun.
Paula: No, you have fun.
Brendon: No, you have fun.
Paula: Brendon stop…
Brendon: No!
Paula: …it; be nice.
Brendon: You be nice.
Paula: You be nice.
Brendon: I……..
Paula: You’re going have fun. [Pushes him out and slams the door]
Outside the Small House.
Andrew: Hi, Brendon.
Brendon: Hi, uh, uh, you.
Andrew: You look good, Brendon.
Brendon: Well thanks, um, I’ve been working out. Uh, you, uh, look
like your picture.
Andrew: [Laughs] He he, thanks.
Brendon: Yeah.
Andrew: Uh, well, shall we?
Brendon: Okay.
[Car door closes]
Inside Andrew’s Car
Andrew: So…
Brendon: So…
Andrew: What’s up, big guy?
Brendon: Oh, ya know.
Andrew: You know what, uh, we’ve been on the phone talking, uh, but
I don’t, I think that the last time I saw you, I don’t know you were,
uh…
Brendon: I was shorter.
Andrew: You’re a little taller I noticed that. You’re lo…, you know,
you’re longer.
Brendon: Um, thank you.
Andrew: Hey, you know what I was thinking?
Brendon: What’s that?
Andrew: Uh, let’s go to the zoo.
Brendon: Duh…, well ya…, the zoo’s great, sure.
Andrew: So, you know, see some animals…
Brendon: Um, okay…
Andrew: …you like animals, right?
Brendon: Well I understand that’s the place to go to…
Andrew: Hey, I love animals, Brendon.
Brendon: Oh.
Andrew: In fact if I didn’t become a lawyer, I was gonna become, uh,
a zoologist. You know? Although some people say a lawyer is a type
of animal [laughing]. You know? Like a reptile, that’s what people
ha ha are always saying. Uh, those people, you know, they don’t know
though, Brendon. They don’t know how hard I work, uh…
Brendon: Mm huh.
Andrew: …and I do it for you.
Brendon: Oh.
Andrew: Oh, by the way, uh, we’re gonna meet my girlfriend Linda at
the zoo, since you’ve agreed to go to the zoo.
Brendon: What is she, uh, one of the exhibits?
Andrew: Uh, let me tell you something, she could be.
Brendon: [Laughing] Ha she, what is she an animal?
Andrew: Uh, no. You’re not kidding.
Brendon: [Laughs] Ha ha ha.
Andrew: Hello?
Brendon: Hi.
Andrew: What’s up?
Brendon: Nothing. I thought we just covered this.
Andrew: Tell him I’ll call him Monday. No, Reynolds can handle all
that stuff. Yeah, I’m, I’m taking the weekend off. I’m taking my son
to the zoo. Yeah, okay, bye. I’m sorry, Brendon. I’m, I’m plugged
in here. So, uh, where were we?
[Coach McGuirk speeds by in his car]
Brendon: Your girlfriend’s an animal.
Andrew: Hey, watch where you’re going! [Honks his “La Cucaracha” horn]
Brendon: [Sighs] Nice horn.
Outside the zoo.
Andrew: Linda.
Linda: Where have you been?
Andrew: What? We’re early.
Linda: Yeah, well, so was I. I had a hellish day at the hospital.
I had to get out of there.
Andrew: Sorry, Linda. This is my son, Brendon. Brendon, this is Linda.
Brendon: Very pleased to meet you, Linda.
Linda: Hello Brendon, it’s nice to meet you too.
Brendon: Heh, yeah.
Linda: A guy ran over my foot.
Andrew: What?
Linda: Right over my big toe; I was wheeling him into the elevator
and for some stupid reason, the idiot backs up. I’m like “Hey, idiot”
and he runs right over my toe.
Andrew: Oh, that’s terrible. Well, how does it feel now?
Linda: It hurts.
Brendon: Are you a doctor?
Linda: Uh, no, I’m not a doctor.
Brendon: You a nurse?
Linda: No.
Brendon: Are you a patient?
Andrew: Linda does volunteer work at the hospital.
Linda: Mmhmm.
Andrew: Look Linda, do you want to go home maybe soak your toe or
something?
Linda: No, no. I said I’d do the zoo with you two boys so let’s do
the zoo.
Brendon: One time my friend Jason, uh, ran over my toe with a skateboard,
so I have a feeling I think I know what you’re going through.
Linda: [Interrupting over “I think”] Yes, well, I think a 250 pound
man in a wheelchair is a tad heavier than some four year old on a
skateboard. Don’t you think?
Brendon: Um, you have a good point, but still, uh, you know, I did
break my toe, so…
Andrew: You broke your toe?
Brendon: Yeah.
Andrew: When did you break your toe?
Brendon: As soon as the skateboard went over it.
Andrew: Your mother never told me you broke your toe. My child broke
a bone, and I didn’t know about it!
Brendon: I’m fine, I think.
Andrew: Well, what are we gonna do? Are you alright?
Brendon: I think so.
Andrew: Should we go somewhere?
Brendon: No it’s j…, it’s just, it’s, it’s..
Linda: Andrew, obviously the kid is fine.
Andrew: Okay, great! Well, let’s, hey, let’s do the zoo you guys.
Brendon: Okay.
Andrew: Come on, let’s do the zoo.
Brendon: Let’s do the zoo.
Montage of Zoo scenes.
At an exhibit of the Sumatran Tiger.
Brendon: Hmmm, um, maybe he’s sleeping.
Andrew: Hmm, “The Sumatran Tiger: Panthera Tigris Sumatrae.” It says
here it’s a very beautiful animal and very rare.
Brendon: Great. I like my beautiful animals medium rare.
Andrew: [Laughs] Ha ha, good one.
Brendon: Thank you.
Andrew: Let’s give him a couple more minutes.
Brendon: Okay. A couple more minutes…
Andrew: Oh Linda, there you are! I was beginning to think one of the
animals got you, ha ha. [Laughs]
Linda: Well, while you two were having fun, I volunteered to sit with
some baby llamas next week.
Andrew: Wow! That’s great, Linda.
Linda: Yeah, I know.
Brendon: Yeah.
Linda: So, can we leave now?
Andrew: Well, actually, we’re waiting for the panthera tigrus verius
rarus to come outus, ha ha ha ha. [Laughs]
Brendon: [Laughs] Ha ha, he’s a very shy animal.
Linda: Why don’t you just throw a rock at it?
Andrew: We should probably just get going.
Brendon: Yeah, let’s get going.
At Andrew and Linda’s apartment at night.
Andrew: Hey, can you see the stars?
Brendon: Those people are famous?
Andrew: Ah, stop looking in people’s windows, Brendon.
Brendon: Hey, did you ever, did you ever see any murders?
Andrew: No.
Linda: Where’s my blue towel?
Andrew: Huh?
Linda: Did you take a blue towel off the shelf?
Brendon: I, uh, I might have. What color was it?
Linda: Yeah, I think you did.
Brendon: Oh.
Andrew: I’m sorry, Linda. I forgot to tell him.
Linda: Of course you forgot. I mean, we’ve only been living together
for five months. Why should you remember something that’s important
to me?
Brendon: You, you can have it back. I mean I, I really didn’t even
use it that much.
Linda: Can I talk to you in private please?
Brendon: Sure.
Linda: Not you. [In the next room] Am I too demanding?
Andrew: No.
Linda: So I have a favorite towel, so what? You have a favorite shirt;
you have a favorite mug. I ask one thing: don’t let anybody use my
towel.
Brendon: [Talking to himself] I’ll use your stupid towel anytime I
want. And your stupid green towel and your stupid red towel. Hey!
A shooting star. You know, you know what? I’ll use your toothbrush,
too. That’s what I’ll do.
Linda: Did you use my toothbrush?
Brendon: [Giggles] He he. Ha ha. Ha ha hmm
The next morning.
Andrew: [In a mock French accent] Uh, good morning monsieur Brendon,
how did you sleep eh?
Brendon: Like this [snores]
Andrew: Ah of course, trez bien, trez bien. Would you like to start
off with a tray of bienz?
Brendon: Hey, no thanks but I, uh, how bout some OJ?
Andrew: Oui, and what would you like for zee cereal?
Brendon: I think I will have the uh dinosaur shaped sugar puff-flakes
Andrew: Uh, excellent.
Brendon: Eh, thank you.
Linda: Why didn’t you wake me?
Andrew: Uh, Linda could you get a robe on or something?
Brendon: Good morning to me!
Linda: You were supposed to wake me at 7:45.
Andrew: I did.
Linda: Yeah, well you didn’t do a very good job of it; it’s 8:30.
Andrew: I know, but…
Linda: I got to be at the cancer institute at nine o’clock.
Andrew: I’m, I’m sorry. I guess you fell back to sleep.
Linda: Oh, so you’re only gonna wake me once is that it? Heh. I get
one shot and that’s it. Heh. Thanks a lot. Now I gotta rush. Great.
I’m gonna have a fun day at the cancer institute.
Andrew: Well, uh, so, [clears throat] I was thinking, uh [clears throat]
finish off at the zoo today.
Linda: Did you use my deodorant?
At the Sumatran Tiger exhibit in the zoo.
Andrew: Things are gonna be different, Brendon. Now that I’m living
closer, we’re gonna spend a lot more time together.
Brendon: Will I see you next weekend?
Andrew: Uh, no, next weekend I’m in Dallas.
Brendon: Oh.
Andrew: I mean, I’ll, I’ll still travel a lot, you know, but when
I’m around…
Brendon: Yeah.
Andrew: Hello?
Brendon: Hello.
Andrew: What?
Brendon: I said uh ye…
Andrew: No, no, forget it.
Brendon: Oh.
Andrew: Just tell him no. Look, Reynolds, relax. Get out of the office!
Go to the zoo or something. Yeah, alright. Bye. I’m sorry, Brendon,
it’s, it’s a big case.
Brendon: Sure.
Andrew: Anyway I, um, [Brendon slurps from straw] I’d like us to see
more of each other when I am around. Because, uh, we’re still a family,
you know.
Brendon: Sure.
Andrew: I mean, kind of.
Brendon: Yeah, I know.
Andrew: And because, well…
Brendon: Uh huh.
Andrew: Because I’m gonna ask Linda to marry me.
Brendon: [Spits out his drink]
*commercial*
At the playground.
Melissa: So are you gonna stop her from marrying your father?
Brendon: No, I, it’s not. See, I have to stop my father from marrying
her.
Melissa: That’s what I said.
Brendon: No. No no no. You said stop her from marrying him. And she’s
not marrying him; he’s marrying her.
Melissa: It’s the same thing as long as they both agree.
Brendon: Oh. Well, I mean, you know…
Jason: Hey Brendon, your father’s sorta old enough to make up his
own mind, you know? It’s really not your decision.
Brendon: Alright well, ye…
Jason: Is he in love with her?
Melissa: If he is in love, then they have to get married…
Brendon: Wow!
Melissa: …and right away.
Brendon: [Groans] Oh…
Melissa: Because that’s what love is: you get married right away.
Jason: Um, Brendon, maybe this will help. Um, one night I walked into
my parents’ bedroom, and my parents saw me naked.
Brendon: You were naked?
Jason: Yeah.
Melissa: Why were you naked?
Jason: I love it.
At Soccer practice.
Coach McGuirk: lright everybody, quiet down. Who was talking? Melissa?
Melissa: Sorry.
Coach McGuirk: This new kid here is Eddy.
Entire Team: Hi, Eddy.
Coach McGuirk: Alright, Eddy, take a hike while I explain to everybody
what’s wrong with you.
Melissa: Coach, is Eddy sick?
Coach McGuirk: Who told you?
Melissa: Nobody I was ju…
Coach McGuirk: Don’t do my job for me Melissa, okay?
Melissa: Okay.
Coach McGuirk: Alright now everybody, Eddy’s sick, but he’s a good
kid. He’s like the son I never had … or I don’t know about. Anyway,
anyone messing with eddy messes with me. You got that Melissa?
Melissa: I’m not gonna mess with Eddy.
Coach McGuirk: Good. Now this is complicated, so just bear with me.
Eddy was born with some kind of problem. And he takes medication for
it. Any questions? Good. Look at him out there, so small, so defenseless.
He’s like a chipmunk … with a disease. Who didn’t love that analogy?
Alright, here are some of the warning signs that tell you something’s
wrong with Eddy. What I like to call this part of the speech is, “You
know Eddy’s sick if:” dot dot dot. If he stops breathing. If he vomits
blood. If he ever says, “Help.” Or if it looks like he’s saying, “Help,”
[Eddy falls down] but he can’t say, “Help;” he’s like mouthing it.
Uh…
Brendon: Uh, Coach McGuirk? Eddy just fell.
Coach McGuirk: Oh God. Is he up yet?
Brendon: No.
Coach McGuirk: How ‘bout now?
Brendon: Uh [sighs], nope.
Coach McGuirk: Well give him a few minutes, Brendon!
Brendon: Hey, don’t yell at me! I’m just, he fell.
Coach McGuirk: This can’t happen the first day, Brendon. What’s he
doing?
Brendon: He’s moving.
Coach McGuirk: Is he? Alright. Melissa?
Melissa: Yeah?
Coach McGuirk: Go drag him off the field, so we can start practice.
Melissa: K.
Split screen between Paula and Andrew on the phone.
Paula: No, really, I didn’t mean to laugh. It’s just I mean 11 years
younger than you? My God, … Hey! Why don’t I have the both of you
over for dinner?
Andrew: What?
Paula: You and Lydia. An engagement dinner. Can she stay out late?
Andrew: It’s Linda, and you know it.
Paula: It’ll be fun. I’ll make you a … I don’t know; I’ll make you
a something.
Andrew: I don’t, I don’t want you to go through any trouble.
Paula: How’s Thursday night?
Andrew: I don’t know; I, I ha…, I gotta check with Linda.
Paula: So it’s settled. We’ll see you and the little missus on Thursday
night.
Andrew: Okay, okay. Should we bring anything?
Paula: Just yourselves … and maybe a note from her parents if she’s
gonna be out late.
At the soccer match.
Coach McGuirk: Alright, good, Eddy, good. That was a nice kick. Alright
now, get ready because I’m gonna kick this one a little harder. This
one’s coming like a rocket. Get ready for it. Here we go. [Kicks it
into Eddy’s head and Eddy falls over]. Oh. Eddy! I’m sorry. That was
a good stop though, you really used your, uh … mouth. Wow. Well, that
must have been loose anyway, right? Uh…
Melissa: Coach!
Coach McGuirk: Melissa, not now. What?
Melissa: We’re getting killed out there. We need your help.
Coach McGuirk: You coach, Melissa. I’m elsewhere, alright. I’m helping
Eddy.
Melissa: Okay.
Coach McGuirk: What, whaddya got false teeth in there Eddy?
Melissa: [Yelling] Hey, other team. We quit.
Coach McGuirk: Hey Melissa, what did I teach you about team spirit?
Melissa: Oh sorry. [Yelling] So long suckers [Kisses her hand and
slaps her butt]
Coach McGuirk: That’s better. Alright. Hey Melissa, watch where you’re
stepping because there’s teeth on the ground here.
Melissa: Eww…
Coach McGuirk: Eddy? Eddy? [Laughs nervously] Heh. Eddy?
In the Small kitchen.
Brendon: Mom. What’s going on?
Paula: I’m making a practice meal. Taste this.
Brendon: Mm.
Paula: Does it need something? What does it need?
Brendon: Better flavor.
Paula: I think there’s too much fennel and not enough sage. Or too
much rosemary. But it’s called rosemary chicken so how can you go
wrong with a lot of rosemary?
Brendon: [Clears throat] Uh, mom. Does it bother you that what’s his
name’s getting remarried again?
Paula: Well um, Brendon first of all, he’s not remarrying again, he’s
just remarrying.
Brendon: But the, uh, but does it bother you?
Paula: If he were remarrying again, then that would mean that he’s
been married at least twice before and as far as I know, this will
only be his second marriage, and no it doesn’t bother me too much.
Try this.
Brendon: Mm. [Bleck] Um, I think it has too much flannel.
Paula: Flennel.
Brendon: Flennel?
Paula: I think you’re right. You said you liked Linda, right?
Brendon: Uh, I, no, I said that she’s very pretty in the morning.
But uh, I don’t know; she, she always seems to be in a bad mood.
Paula: Mmhmm. Try this.
Brendon: That tastes like uh … chalk.
Paula: Perfect. We’ll have this, and uh, you can have macaroni.
At Soccer practice.
Coach McGuirk: Alright everybody, gather round. I got some bad news,
so listen up. This is the part of the job I love. Eddy is no longer
with us.
Melissa: What?
Coach McGuirk: Now wait a minute. Let me explain something, alright.
Eddy moved to Arizona … which is a state. Apparently it’s healthier
there. You know, it’s better for Eddy to live like a lizard … in the
desert … crawling around … eating bugs.
On the bleachers.
Brendon: [Clears throat] Hey, coach? Do you miss Eddy?
Coach McGuirk: Don’t be ridiculous, Brendon. Eddy was sick.
Brendon: Yeah.
Coach McGuirk: You don’t miss sick people. [Clears throat] But it
was kinda fun having Eddy around, you know? He sorta reminded me of
me when I was his age.
Brendon: Uh, really?
Coach McGuirk: Well, no. But he did remind me of me about two years
ago.
Brendon: Well.
Coach McGuirk: But being with him made me think I’d like to spend
some time working with kids, you know?
Brendon: But y- you do spend time working with kids. Coach McGuirk.
You’re a soccer coach.
Coach McGuirk: Shut up, Brendon
Brendon: Okay.
Coach McGuirk: I’m talking about quality time. You know, like one
on one. You know?
Brendon: Sure.
Coach McGuirk: I’m thinking about becoming a big brother.
Brendon: Well, y-you are big
Coach McGuirk: Well, get out on that field and show me what you can
do, Brendon.
Brendon: Nah.
In the Small’s basement.
Brendon: So this is the studio.
Linda: Looks like the basement. Ha [Laughs]
Brendon: It’s also the basement. Here’s some of our work.
Andrew: Wow. That’s very impressive, Brendon.
Brendon: Yeah.
Linda: Uh, let me get this straight: you make movies?
Brendon: Yeah.
Andrew: So, you, you got something you want to show us?
Linda: I’m going to go get a glass of wine.
Andrew: Okay, sweetie.
Brendon: This is our current work in progress. [Clears throat]
[Turns on TV]
All’s Pharaoh in Love & War.
Brendon: Good morning, my dearest dear. How lovely you look over there
... uh, you look
Melissa: [Interrupting over “uh, you look”] You were supposed to wake
me, and you didn’t, and I overslept, and now I’m gonna be late for
everything, and it’s all your fault.
Brendon: I’m sorry, but I did wake you, my pretty princess, but I
guess you fell back to sleep.
Melissa: Then you didn’t wake me.
Brendon: Oh, but I did.
Melissa: How could I be awake if I was sleeping?
Brendon: Well, I … don’t know, my shiny angel head.
Melissa: It doesn’t matter now anyway.
Brendon: Of course not, my precious jewel.
Melissa: My day is ruined!
Brendon: Don’t let a little cloud spoil the sunshine, cupcake face.
Melissa: And did you use my red towel?
Brendon: Oh I’m, I’m sorry tulip honey, I, I must have forgotten,
I
Melissa: You’re not supposed to use my red towel. My red towel is
for me only.
Brendon: Yes! Yes, I’m sorry, my beautiful bunny. Will you marry me?
[Turns off TV]
Andrew: [Clears throat] Brendon, are you, uh, trying
to tell me something?
Brendon: No?
At the dinner table.
Paula: More wine, anyone?
Andrew: No, thank you.
Linda: No.
Brendon: I, yes!
Paula: Me too.
Linda: So how was the movie?
Andrew: Huh? Oh, the movie. Uh, it was good!
Paula: Isn’t Brendon talented? How’s the chicken?
Linda: Good.
Paula: Well thank you, Linda
Andrew: It’s excellent, Paula.
Linda: Why do you have to one up me?
Andrew: I wasn’t one upping you; I was concurring with you.
Linda: I said, “Good” and you said, “Excellent.” If you were concurring,
you just would have just said, “Good.”
Brendon: Hmm.
Andrew: I was just saying…
Linda: Yeah, yeah, fine. Whatever.
Brendon: [Clears throat]
Paula: So you two lovebirds set a date yet or what?
Linda: Probably in three months.
Paula: Three months? Why wait?
Linda: Tell me Paula, are you seeing anyone? I mean, is three months
enough time for you to get a date?
Andrew: Pass the peas please, somebody!
Brendon: [Clears throat] We’re not having peas.
Andrew: Well something tastes like peas. Just pass something!
Paula: As a matter of fact, I am seeing someone.
Andrew: You’re seeing someone? You didn’t tell me you were seeing
someone.
Paula: Oh sure. He’s a cute little fella by the name of Mr. Television.
Ever heard of him?
Brendon: Milton Berle?
Paula: Brendon.
Brendon: Mom, he’s so old.
Andrew: Paula, don’t … don’t.
Paula: You’re marrying a twenty-something year old girl who looks
like she stepped out of a fashion magazine and you’re telling me,
“Don’t?”
Andrew: Will you excuse us for a moment?
In the kitchen.
Paula: [Whispers] Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve been intimate
with a man? Huh?
Andrew: [Whispers] Can we discuss this later?
Paula: [Whispers] Guess.
Andrew: [Whispers] Can I guess later?
Paula: [Whispers] Guess it now. Over two years?
Andrew: [Whispers] Seriously?
Paula: [Whispers] Why did I just tell you that?
At the dinner table.
Brendon: I, hey, are you, you’re not using my dinosaur glass are you?
Linda: Nice try.
Brendon: Do you love my father?
Linda: What kind of question is that?
Brendon: Just a kind of question that ends with a question mark.
Linda: Yeah! Of course.
Brendon: Did you ever see him naked?
Linda: That’s it! Andrew!
At the Sumatran Tiger exhibit in the zoo.
Punk Kid: So you gonna get me some smokes or what?
Coach McGuirk: You know, you shouldn’t smoke, alright? Plus, I already
gave you a pack.
Punk Kid: Oh, dude, come on. Get me something …
Coach McGuirk: [Interrupting over “Get me something”] Hey, don’t call
me dude, alright? I’m older than you.
Punk Kid: Whatever. I’m outta here. This is lame. You’re lame.
Coach McGuirk: Hey, good. You know what? Go. See if I care.
Punk Kid: Adios.
Coach McGuirk: I’m going to the agency tomorrow anyway and getting
a better little brother. Better than you! You suck as a little brother!
Wow. Nice tiger.
At the zoo.
Andrew: Linda and I love each other, Brendon. I know it doesn’t always
look that way because we’re adults.
Brendon: Oh.
Andrew: But the marriage is gonna work.
Brendon: Okay.
Andrew: We’re gonna be fine.
Brendon: Alright.
Andrew: And you’re gonna be part of our life and your mom’s life.
Okay?
Brendon: Okay.
Andrew: Hello?
Brendon: Okay.
Andrew: What?
Brendon: Oh.
Andrew: Just kidding.
Brendon: [Laughs] He he. Um, Dad, are you even happy?
Andrewv Yes, Brendon, I’m happy. Are you happy?
Brendon: Sure. But can we go somewhere besides the zoo? Please?
Split between Coach McGuirk’s house and the Big
Brother Agency.
[Telephone rings]
Ken: Hello? Big Brother Agency.
Coach McGuirk: Yeah, hey, this is, uh, Jon McGuirk. I was in to see
you. Who’s this?
Ken: This is, uh, Ken.
Coach McGuirk: Oh, hey, Ken, I talked to you yesterday remember, uh…
Ken: Oh, hello. How you doing?
Coach McGuirk: Yeah, remember Ken yesterday that kid took off, and…
Ken: Yeah, we had big problem with that.
Coach McGuirk: Yeah, did you find him?
Ken: We never found him, no.
Coach McGuirk: Yeah, that kid was definitely troubled.
Ken: Uh, how to say you not so good influence on the guy.
Coach McGuirk: Uh, it wasn’t me, Ken, I just like you know I just,
uh.
Ken: I don’t want to point finger but you know …
Coach McGuirk: Ma ma ma…
Ken: … sometime you have to point the finger.
Coach McGuirk: Yeah.
Ken: But why you call Jon McGuirk?
Coach McGuirk: Well actually, I was, uh, I was hoping to be set up
again with another kid, you know, because that one didn’t work out
so well.
Ken: Okay, yeah well, look through my file we have plenty of kid here,
which is uh …
Coach McGuirk: Uh, can I make a recommendation?
Ken: What’s that?
Coach McGuirk: Uh, could you get me somebody sick?
Ken: Okay, well, I’m a look through my file. I get one kid, I’m looking
right here.
Coach McGuirk: Mmhmm
Ken: We got one kid who has, uh, no eyes.
Coach McGuirk: Who’s blind?
Ken: No, he just has no eyes.
Coach McGuirk: But he can see?
Ken: No, he can’t see nothing.
Coach McGuirk: Right.
Ken: It says here, “No eyes” on this paper. It says, “Cannot see”
also in parenthesis.
Coach McGuirk: Well what, do you have anything more sick?
Ken: More sick? Well I got one kid who has a wooden leg.
Coach McGuirk: Wooden leg? That’s not bad.
Ken: Yeah, and the other one plastic.
Coach McGuirk: So one plastic, one wooden leg.
Ken: Yeah, I guess he, he couldn’t find a matching pair.
Coach McGuirk: That’s pretty sad.
Ken: That’s not so good, yeah.
Coach McGuirk: Wow, I’d love to put those two kids together.
Ken: If you, if you could combine those kids, it would some pretty
good thing.
Coach McGuirk: Yeah, like one plastic leg, one wooden leg, no eyes.
Ken: Yeah.
Coach McGuirk: Hey Ken, I like you.
Ken: I like you too, ha ha, I have to admit, I do like you a little
bit. [Laughing]
Coach McGuirk: [Laughs] Ha ha. It’s pretty shocking that you run a
Big Brother Agency.
Ken: That’s pretty crazy, the other guy’s sick. That’s why. I’m kinda
just working temporarily, yeah.
Coach McGuirk: Yeah.